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I don't get paid enough to deal with this shit
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Having me as a father is the only gift you need
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I'm sorry you had to raise my siblings. Love, your favorite kid
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Congrats on your new home hope its not haunted
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You're an awesome father keep that shit up
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Thanks for being my unpaid therapist
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YODA only one for me
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Namaste Bitches
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Dasher dancer vodka blitzen
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Santa has the right idea
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Sorry I can't mercury is in retrograde
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YODA Best Dad
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Please don't do coke in the bathroom
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Congrats on your divorce he sucked anyway
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Smells like Retirement its not my problem anymore
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Here lies my last fuck may it rest in peace
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Tiny Human stole my Sanity
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You're not old you're vintage
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Upgraded to MILF
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